Sunday, February 1, 2009

i'm walking on air just to know you're there...

They think I'm wrong. Or that I'm behaving inappropriately.

And I have no idea anymore...

She can hug any guy she likes for as long as she likes, she can hug you for as long as she likes. But me? no. No I can't. In fact, I shouldn't at all.

Or should I?

I can hug any of my other best friends. As far as i know its not against the law. So why not you? When you're maybe the most important of them all...

I'm sorry if I'm wrong... I'm sorry, cos i'm sure it hurt. Cos it hurt me, just to let go.

Old habits die hard sweetheart and its not getting any easier. We've been walking that road for so long that itsa hard to walk another. That its hard to go a different way. And its all up to me, because I know that you wouldn't object if i rolled over into your arms, you'd just wrap them around me where they used to belong and tell me that you love me, that you're glad i came back. And I know that both of us want not much more than for that to happen. But...

I don't know if i imagined it, or if you ran your fingers through my hair. Just the way you used to when i'd fall asleep.

And I don't know if it was you, or just me being stupid and imagining things in my sleep.

No one else seems to understand this whole thing with you and me... Because well... It doesn't make much sense. I love you, you love me, but we can't be together.

Seems straight forward enough...

Is painful enough. More than enough. And thats just for me. I can't even imagine how it must be for you.

And i'm sure I don't make things easier.

But I miss you.

Even when I'm right beside you.

I feel sick. Completely sick to the stomach every time I think about the fact that I might never get to curl up in your arms anymore, or fall asleep beside you, or just sit and talk the way we used to without everyone giving us weird looks.That i can't just hug you when I want to, cos everyone is so critical about it.

and its really not fair, because above it all you were my best friend. Above it all you are my best friend. And i miss you. I don't think its fair that everyone else can be so critical of us.

Well sorry, you're allowed to be best friends with him. And she is best friends with the other one. And he is still really close to her.

So why can't we?

I'm sorry... I miss you... and i hate you =P if I bruise, you die. lol.


shootingatspiders said...

im sorry if it came out critical...
It probably did, I'm so skilled at making things come out the wrong way.

I just...

I know what its like, well I know what a lesser degree of it is like and I can sort of guess what its like for you guys. And i can see it there too.

I just want to protect you from all this hurt.... both of you.

I know that i cant, but I want to.

And I do know what its like to love someone who loves you but you cant be together.

I know that agony.

And if I'm looking at you weirdly, that look is worry and concern and probably pain, cos it really hurts me to see you guys hurting so awfully.

was that an alright explanation of myself?


PS fleagyro

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