Monday, February 2, 2009

and water from a broken well will make you thirst again...

I'm sorry. Maybe I'm being cruel. Maybe I'm being mean.

I don't know. And I am sorry. Because I know that if I were in your situation I would not want to have just read that about myself.

But... I would have thought that maybe you might have realised by now that I dont want to, or need to hear it. My sanity is quite literally hanging by a thread. My self control is slipping, and keeping myself from doing insanely stupid things is becoming increasingly, increasingly difficult.

And then you, tell me how much its hurts you.

How much this whole thing hurts, and believe me, i know this whole thing hurts. I know.

And if it hurts you too, well then im, sorry.

And to everyone who has been hurt, i am sorry.

But put yourselves in my position, every day you are slidding slowly, deeper into the despair that has become life for you. Everyday it overpowers you more and more... And then you have one of your best friends start talk about how much it hurts her. And that hurts even more... Because as much as you want to sympathise with them, to apologise for that hurt, you can't. you can only feel anger and hurt and frustration... because, you have to deal with it, think about it, every second of every day... and know that things may never be the same again...

Im sorry.

I love you....?


lovereigno'erme said...

No one has beeen hurt by you and you alone. Please don't worry about us, or anyone. Because nothing holds a candle to what you're going through, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I want you to know that I would share your pain if I could, I would try and lighten the load. I know I probably can't, but if there's anything I can do...

Because I would give the fucking world for you to be happy again.

shootingatspiders said...

don't apologise, thats my job sweetheart.

check my blog in a few minutes, I'm doing some seriously deserved backtracking etc.


PS liosc

shootingatspiders said...

and I'm with lauren, with the pain sharing bit...

anything i can do just call. And you know that when I say 'any time' i mean anytime.

I've said this again and again, but I don't care what time it is.

I'll be there for you to scream at when you need to, to cry on, to hug you, to try to make it just a little bit brighter...

even the tiniest bit brighter...

PS dowedro

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