The anaesthetic never set in and I’m wondering where the apathy and urgency is that I thought I’d never forget…

I was trying today, to think about you with someone else. I guess it made me cranky. Everyone pissed me off today, everyone made me feel bitter and angry and hurt. And not because they did anything to me. Because I was doing it to myself.

I will be happy for you. When you find her. Because you will.

I’m sure she’s pretty. And has a beautiful genuine smile. And is smart. And funny. And… Perfect.

She’s probably nothing like me… Which is probably a good thing.

I will be happy for you and I won’t let on how much it hurts.

And I shall do the best friend thing to do, and hug you and demand to meet her so that we can become good friends and bitch about you behind your back :P (sorry, it’s a girl thing).

But until this happens, I will always wish that things could change. And I will always wish that things had been different.

Maybe one day we will both go our separate ways, and we will both move on and be happy with someone else. But you’ll still be my best friend. And somewhere inside me, I’ll still love you. Because I don’t think that you can make it go away. I don’t think that anything could make what we have disappear. It will always be there, in some way, shape or form. Because what we have is had was too strong to lose completely. It was too strong to go away all together.

Maybe one day our paths will cross again.

Maybe one day things will be different.