are we really alive, or are we only living?

Did you ever think you knew exactly what someone thought? Did you think you knew exactly what a person's opinion was? Of you, or of someone you love? Did you everything think you knew exactly what someone thought, only to turn around and realise you were wrong? That you actually had no idea? Did you ever think you knew exactly how something was going to happen, only for it to occur a different way? Or not at all?

Maybe expectations are a bad thing. When you think something will happen one way and it occurs a different way instead, are you left disappointed? Or surprised? Or... Happy maybe. Happy that everything happened differently to what you expected.

For me... When someting happens a different way, I lose the plot. I start to shake, or panic, or cry, or stress, or just withdraw completely. I don't know about anyone else, but for me, surprises are a bad thing. Even the most wonderful of surprises freak me out.

Take for instance this example: I'm going to the city with Glitter, and the plan is to meet Pickles for coffee or something before he meets his other friends later. Then we were going to go shopping. We get to the malls balls where we were planning to meet, and there's no sight of Pickles. I'm so busy looking for Pickles that I don't see Charming walking towards us, and even when he was standing right next to me (after three months of having not seen him), it still didn't occur that he was there, because I was so busy looking for Pickles. Charming wasn't supposed to meet us. Pickles was.

In my head anyway. Because this was what I'd been told by Glitter when she organised this shopping trip. Needless to say, that although I was thriled to see Charming, I was also ready to kill both of them for tricking me and giving me a surprise. Also, I was shaking for about an hour afterwards (But they let me buy coffee so I calmed down a little bit then xD).

So anyway, yeah, surprises freak me out.