you're not a judge but if you're going to judge me, sentence me to another life...

I just cant do it. I get behind the wheel of the car (already on the street of course, so that I don't hit the other car going down our ridiculous driveway...). I stall it starting out, twice of course, before I manage to get it going. Our first gear of course is a bit screwed up which makes it harder to drive, so of course I change up to second. A lovely grinding noise coming from the car for no particular reason other than the fact that I am driving and it wants to make my life as fucking difficult as it can. Check that I'm in gear. Yes. Check that the hand brake is off. Wait, of course it is, we are moving after all. Okay, nothing wrong with it. Turn car off. Turn car on. Start up again. Stall it twice before I start to move. Car starts making the same noise again half way up the fucking hill. Stall it. Stop. Turn car off. Turn car on. See car going around the roundabout at the bottom of the street. Stall it three times this time. Finally make it into the carpark, stall it at the giveway sign. Turn car off. Turn car on. Try again. Car pulls up behind me. Turn car off. Turn car on. Stall it again. Turn car off. Turn car on. Stall it of course. Turn car off. Turn car on. Stall it. Car door opens behind me. Person gets out, obviously sick of waiting. Sorry. Turn car off. Turn car on. Stall it. Person beeps horn. Do weird thingo that I do when I'm really stressed, like run fingers through fringe and push back out of eyes. Turn car off. Turn car on. Stop panicing. Stall it. Turn car off. Turn car on. Bunny hop it around the corner. Get in second. Go. Park as far away from all other cars as possible. Run to Coles. No hamburger buns. Run to Woolworths. Buy hamburger buns, just making it before the store closes. Run back to car. Get in. Seatbelt. Turn car on. Stall it. Turn car off. Turn car on. Stall it. Turn car off. Turn car on. Stall it. Turn car off. Turn car on. Stall it. For fuck sake. Turn car off. Turn car on. Stall it. Stall it. Fucking stall it. Resist urge to scream. Must resist urge to scream. Fuck this. I'm buying an auto. Turn car on. Stall it. Make dad drive. Mentally curse the freaking guy who beeped his horn at me.

I hate it when people do that. Seriously dude, Go around me. Or wait. I'll only be a couple of hours. Or better yet, leave your car there, run into the shops, come back. I'm sure I'll still be there, guarding your car for you. It'll be fine. You know the fucking yellow plates with the massive black 'L' on the back? yeah? You know the ones I'm talking about? That means I can't drive for shit okay? That means be patient with me and i'll be out of your way as soon as I can. Fuck.

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In other news, you know what pisses me off? When people judge you without even knowing you. When people make assumptions and judge you before knowing the tiniest detail about you, or your life. Seriously, I don't judge you. I accept you without even knowing you. So don't judge me. You know nothing about me. You don't live my life. And until you've lived my life and done a better job of dealing with it than I have, then you can't judge me.

******DISCLAIMER******

And just so that this isn't confused by anyone, this is not a direct hit at anyone reading this... unless my blog is being read by people without me knowing... But anyway, this isn't aimed at anyone of you. it is just me ranting and raving and getting it out...
-13 days-