i dont know if im happy with it or not. i suppose i am. after all, thats pretty much what i've been sitting on all year. i suppose that its pretty good really. in fact, i know that its pretty good.

i just wonder why i felt such a sudden disappointment when i saw the number...

its a good result. certainly not a bad one. but... i don't know. i just don't know...

why can't i escape this feeling that i'm never going to get anywhere in life? that i'm never going to succeed in anything in life? that i'm never going to make anythign of my life?

why can't i escape this feeling that maybe all im doing here is wasting oxygen...?