the guilt is all on you, but i'm easier to blame...

I don't even know how to talk to people about things... I don't know how to confront you with all of the crap I want to say. I don't know how to tell you what I really think.

I suppose a large part of my problem is that I don't want to hurt you. More than anything I don't want to hurt you. But... You never listen.

People talk. You should know that. After all the shit we have all gone through in the past year or so. You should know that people talk. And we all say, 'yeah, I'm going to stop bitching.' And we all do have good intentions. But then someone reeeeally annoys us, or we're having a bad day and they just do that one thing that makes us snap. And so what is our automatic reaction as girls? Grab the person we bitch to the most and have a nice long whine.

Sometimes though, it isn't just a bad day. Sometimes it isn't just one tiny little thing. No, sometimes people really do annoy us. And we just cannot stand it any longer. And when you find a whole group of people who are all massively pissed off at the same person, for the same things, you don't really feel as bad for bitching.

The problem is that you don't want to bitch. Because you like that person, or you did, or you want to. But when they are doing something that is pissing you off that much..........

Well, while it isn't really an excuse, it is in our nature as girls to bitch. It's just what we do. We don't mean to. But...

-Sigh- I fail. I don't think I can even get this out. I'm just... SOOOOO frustrated with you. I used to love you. We used to be close. I used to tell you almost everything about me and my life. And now, you just frustrate me.

It's not to say that I don't like you, that I didn't like you, that I don't want to like you. And I suppose I haven't said any of this to you because I don't want to hurt you. But there is only so long I can go on protecting your feelings.

Because I think you need to listen. And I think there is a lesson in this for everyone, regardless of whether you are the person this is aimed at or not.

You cannot be the centre of attention all the time. Sometimes things need to be about other people. If a person is not paying one hundred percent attention to you all the time it is not an excuse to be louder and more attention seeking. Sometimes other people have more important things on their mind than you. And it's about time you just... accept that and try to calm down a bit. If we have heard a story once, it is probably not going to be any different the second, third or fourth times around, so there is really no necessity to repeat it. Oh, and when you say 'Yeah, that's just like...' It's never just like. All of the things you have ever used after those words when talking to me have never had anything to do with what I'd just been saying. You're a good person. But maybe it's time for you to consider other people a little bit more.

I know that this is just you, and I'm not saying it is a bad thing. It's just that too much of it is a bad thing. You are very much the sort of person who should be the centre of attention. The roll suits you, and you play it well. You have a lot to say and normally a good way of expressing yourself.

However, at the moment I think you need to maybe calm down, take a deep breathe, and choose your battles a bit better. Try and work out when you really need to be the centre of attention, and when people just need a break. Try and work out when someone else needs a shot.

Because all of this bitching and all of this crap... It can all stop as soon as you stop being so attention seeking. No offense, but no one cares about your guys. Okay? It is interesting for a little while, but when you constantly go on and on, it gets so tiring. Everyone is tired of being annoyed and annoyed until you're satisfied you have their attention.

...Okay, clearly I am not very good at this. Because this has come out sounding like a massive bitching session which is not exactly what I intended. But... Maybe just read over what I said. Think about it. If you think any of this relates to you, maybe you should have a little think. Maybe you should work out what you're doing that pisses people off.

Now, I don't want anyone to change who they are. But if this relates to you, maybe you should think about toning it down a little. Trust me, people will appreciate it. And they will be a lot more receptive to you when you actually do have something important to say.

And if you want to actually talk about all of this with me, feel free. That's what I am here for. This blog was not intended to hurt or offend anyone, just in case anyone is feeling in anyway hurt or offended by it. And if you are, maybe it's because i've hit the nail on the head. You're the attention seeker.

Anyway, if anyone has any issues or anythign with this post let me know. And if you want to talk about it come see me. And if not... Well, either it doesnt relate to you and you know it. Or you're in denial. Or at least think about what I said.

I love you. And I'm sorry.