and in the dark i can feel your heart beat..

So... I guess I've kinda been neglecting my blog recently. Before I lost my internet, blogger used to be one of the first five sites I'd open when I log onto the computer. These days, I rarely even think of it. I should get back in the habit of blogging.

Anyway... So I was watching the Biggest Loser tonight... And one of the girls, who is about a year older than me said something that really struck a core with me... She said that she'd kind of been a bit weighty since she was younger. And her parents were always on her case. But that she was normally a reasonably good girl. She just reminded me of me a bit.

Mostly in the sense of how she said that she didn't really rebel. Her weight was her rebelion. Like she didn't drink. She didn't do drugs. She didn't have sex. She ate. And everytime she ended up upset she'd just eat something. Something sugary and gross and awful for her.

And it made me realise, I'm the same. They give me shit. And so I go, and in spite of them eat something awful for me.

And I mean really, in the long run... it's me I'm hurting. It's my life I'm cutting short. It's me that I'm killing.

It kind of made me realise that instead of pretty much caving to what they say... Maybe I should be making a change in spite of them. Maybe instead I should be proving that I am better than what they say.

But maybe I'm not.......