how could i fail? I've never failed anything in my life. I'm scared of failing. the lowest grade i ever got was like... a high C. I'm not happy with 15 out of 20... how the hell am i supposed to be happy with a fail if i cant be happy with a 15 out of 20?

You know i was having a great day before that. psych was fun; laughing about lesbian orgies and spaghetti girls.

even english was fun, right up until the end. when i found out i had failed something. that was a bit of a mood dampener. and i then spent lunch thinking of different ways to kill the rockmuncher for failing me for not including a storyline summary (which she had told me not to include)

during biology my relief teacher picked up my story notebook and read the prologue and the start of the first chapter of a story im starting to write and randomly decided iu should send it to womens weekly and went on about how theyd pay me good money for it. something about a few thousand dollars while i sat there thinking 'bullshit' lol. anywho, if you want to read the prologue (and the rest of it as i write it) go here.

And yeah... Now im going to clean my room and it shall be fun :D

-4 days-

i'd like to believe that things get better. You know, that one day things wouldnt be quite so bad... maybe...

but maybe that is just wishful thinking.

i feel awful for the people affected by all of these tragedies... you know... the ones that happened over the weekend, today... all those that will ever happen. and thinking about how these things affects the people close to them... thinking about how death affects the people close to them... it just draws up old memories...

sorry, i probably sound selfish and like im turning other peoples problems around so that theyre all about me. thats not my intention.

im sorry. im so sorry you have to go through it. thats all....

i want to go to sleep. i can forget everything then... everything is safe when i'm asleep in his arms...

i wish...

-3 days-

death is...

i dont even know how to finish that sentence...

-3 days-

you know sometimes i think i stick my foot in it a bit too much...

I mean i know i do. a lot.

I'm just... well to be honest, a little stupid.

like seriously, i don't think i think before i speak.

i just open my mouth a a whole rush of verbal diarrhoea just comes tumbling out.

Sorry, now im going to entertain you with a small little ftory of stupidity/verbal diarrhoea...

***

It was the first time she'd met his parents. She was sitting beneath a tree on a warm summers' day. He was the only person she knew, among the twenty or so other people there. She was sitting beside him around a picnic rug, passing chocolate cookies to his sister and stepmother.

Stepmother was saying something about pink fluffy handcuffs but of course she wasn't really getting the point of the conversation.

'Oh yeah,' she piped up. 'I know heaps of police officers. I could get my hands on some handcuffs if i ever needed them.'

Look around, see stepmother, him, and sister all staring at you, watching the cogs tick over in her head. Wait for the red to start creeping into cheeks...

'whoops... so anyone want another cookie?'

***

Oopsie daisy :D


-2 days-