my world feels oddly at peace tonight.

i have no goals or direction in my life. no plans other than movies, seeing him, shopping, working, 'sleep'-ins, reading, watching movies, sitting on facebook/msn etc. and for once, no homework. which i suppose is obvious. because clearly school is over and therefore i have no reason to be doing assignments. no stress, no worries.

ok... so i lie. i do have stress. i do worry.

but for some reason tonight, i don't entirely know why... everything seems fine.

the whole world feels like its spinning the right way again. although ever so slightly off centre... because he cant be with me...

which makes me sound pathetic im sure.

but anyway, thats not what im getting at.

what i was intending to say is that aside from the loneliness thats eating away at me.... im good. i think... you know. tonight everything just seems simple. all i want tonight is him. he is all i need for tonight to just be... peaceful... right.

The ancient art of lying. Or rather I assume it's ancient. I'm sure people have been lying for many years. I mean, think about it. You don't want to explain what's going on, so you lie 'oh, I'm fine, really.' or 'I'm just really tired'. We didn't do our homework the night before, no problems 'my usb wont work' or 'I'm out of printing credits'

What about when we lie to ourselves though? I don't know about anyone else, but I lie to myself constantly. You lie until you believe it's true. And if you tell yourself the same lie enough times, that is what will happen.

Or when we don't want other people to know we are falling apart. Or when we're under a lot of stress...

The easiest way to cover for yourself, is to lie. We say 'Yes, I'm fine.' or 'Don't worry about me, I have everything under control' Regardless of whether this is the truth or not. It's so much easier to pretend like we don't have a problem, like we aren't under enormous stress, like we aren't falling to pieces... than it is to just open up and tell the truth.