you know it struck me today that i have nothing to say.

like i can tell you all that im sick, and that i feel like crap and that my grandparents forgot about picking me up today. i could tell you that i slept for more than 11 hours on friday night. i could tell you that i am sick of studying or that the only reason im really online is hoping that he might come on (and that thats the only reason i've been on at all all weekend).

but you know what? none of that even matters. nothing i write here matters. and nobody is really interested in it. maybe its just a record...

a record of the small and insignificant things that happen in my life. things that nobody even cares about but me. and probably things that even i shouldnt care about sometimes...

but really, what does matter? do we as individuals even matter at all? what can one of us alone do? how much of an effect can one person have? and would the world really notice one person gone...? id like to think so... but im just not so sure...

i seriously hate the school computers. they wont let me see my own blog dammit. fucking hell. I'm going to swear on here now cos i haven't previously and i figure if its blocked on the school computers, i can. this fails. i know i haven't been able to see it for ages, but this is really pissing me off... changing my URL doesn't work... -sigh- this sucks.